


Confessions of a Roommate in Love

by dickspeightjrs



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Best Friends, College, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hopeless Romantic Dean Winchester, M/M, Pining, Roommates, Student Castiel (Supernatural), Student Dean Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-02
Updated: 2020-11-02
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:53:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27355321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dickspeightjrs/pseuds/dickspeightjrs
Summary: During college you’ll do anything to earn a bit of extra cash between classes.Ash does computer shit for people (Dean has learned not to ask about how legal it all his work is). Jo works in her mom, Ellen’s, bar. Benny hustles pool in said bar (while avoiding Ellen’s wrath).But Dean and Castiel do something a little different.They enter trials and experiments posted around their university’s psychology and science departments.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 30
Kudos: 173





	Confessions of a Roommate in Love

During college you’ll do anything to earn a bit of extra cash between classes. 

Ash does computer shit for people (Dean has learned not to ask about how legal it all his work is). Jo works in her mom, Ellen’s, bar. Benny hustles pool in said bar (while avoiding Ellen’s wrath).

But Dean and Castiel do something a little different. 

They enter trials and experiments posted around their university’s psychology and science departments. The psychology department, especially, knows them pretty well by now. It’s got to the point where they’ll just go straight to Dean and Castiel and ask if they’re interested. 

So that has what led Dean to racing into their apartment one Tuesday afternoon in their final year with a look of sheer childish glee on his face. 

Castiel is laying back on the sofa working on something but looks up from his laptop at the slam of the door and squints at Dean’s expression. He can never quite trust that Dean’s gleeful looks won’t end in tears eventually. But whatever Dean usually suggests Castiel will go along with because that’s what best friends do. 

“They’re doing another research project in the Psych department. Charlie emailed me the details.” Dean explains. 

Castiel’s interest is clearly piqued and he closes his laptop, moving to sit properly on the sofa to give Dean room to sit down next to him. 

“She said there’s a few stages to it. We’ve got to enter some video submission thing first to see if we’re the right fit and then they’ll invite us in for the real thing. Pretty much like the rest of them.” Dean shrugs, taking the offered seat next to Castiel. 

He pulls up the email on his phone and scrolls straight to the specific information for potential participants. They’ve done so many of these things that he tends to scroll right past most of the generic information. 

Castiel’s interested gaze stays on him. 

“Ah, here it is.” Dean quickly scans the text before reading it out. “So it’s a study about roommates and looks like we have to just answer a few questions about each other. Easy.” Dean grins. 

“What kind of questions do we have to answer?” Castiel asks. 

“Just basic ones about living together - who’s the messiest,” Dean snorts, “that’s you.” 

Castiel makes an offended noise and plucks Dean’s phone out of his hand. “I think you’ll find that’s you actually. I don’t think your socks have ever made it to the laundry basket.” 

Dean watches as Castiel scrolls through the rest of the questions. He lets out the occasional chuckle at some of the questions - even the tiniest of laughs lights up his face. 

Eventually, Castiel hands Dean back his phone. “They’re definitely easy questions. I’ll just pack my study stuff away and we can get started on the video. It’ll be better to submit it as soon as possible.” Castiel rises to his feet and collects his laptop in his arms. He’s about to walk down the hall to his bedroom when he turns back to face Dean. “I’m glad this one is about roommates. Given the amount of times we’ve had to pretend to be a couple for these things,” he chuckles and goes to his room, not waiting for a response from Dean.

Dean’s glad Castiel has left and can’t see his face fall from a fake smile. 

Castiel is right. There have been a few times when they’ve participated in research studies and posed as a couple. But what Castiel doesn’t know is that there was no faking on Dean’s part. 

Truthfully, Dean is hopelessly and completely in love with Castiel. 

It’s so unbelievably cliche that Dean can’t quite believe it’s actually true. But it is. 

Ever since they first met, there has been something about Castiel that seems to complete Dean in ways that he never knew he needed. 

Despite successfully pretending to be a couple, Dean has never told Castiel how he feels. Risking their friendship is too much. The chance that he could ruin everything between them is too big. 

So he stays quiet. Living in the hope that it will blow over one day and he’ll find someone who will love him back the way he wants to be loved. 

“Dean, are you listening?” 

Dean blinks back to reality and sees Castiel standing in front of him. “What?” 

“I asked if you wanted to use your phone or mine?” Castiel looks at him quizzically. “Unless you’re not feeling up to it right now? We can do it later.” 

God bless Castiel for being concerned for Dean all the time. 

“Nah, man.” Dean clears his throat and mentally shakes himself. “I’ll have the questions on my phone, so I guess we could use your phone to film it.” 

Castiel nods, though he still looks a little skeptical that Dean is actually okay. “I’ll go and get my tripod for my phone.” 

Dean smiles and waits for Castiel to be gone from the room before he takes a deep breath and casts any thoughts of his true feelings away. It’s not Castiel’s fault Dean feels this way, and Dean isn’t going to take it out on the guy by acting weird. 

Castiel returns and effortlessly sets up the camera to record. 

Having done submission videos like this before, Dean doesn’t feel self conscious about the feeling of having a camera on him anymore. 

Instead, he looks over the email again. 

Castiel drops himself down on the couch next to Dean and naturally lets their knees touch. Dean keeps his eyes focused on the phone in his hand. 

“So it says we have to answer these questions as quick as we can. Don’t think too much about the answers.” Dean explains. 

Castiel nods in understanding. 

“Right, let’s get started.” Dean says. “First question: Who makes the most noise?” 

“Dean.” 

“Yeah it is me.” Dean has to admit. “It’s the music. Gotta start the day with listening to some classic rock.” 

Castiel snorts. “Yes but you don’t only start the day with classic rock. You end with it too. And you play it when you study. And shower. And when you’re sad.” 

Dean blushes a little at the thought of Castiel knowing when Dean is sad and when he listens to music to cope with it. 

He clears his throat. “Okay, next question.”

* * * 

It’s another couple of days before an email pings itself into Dean’s inbox telling him that he and Castiel are through to the next stage of the study. 

Dean hasn’t thought about his feelings for Castiel since they filmed the video and he’s very happy to keep it that way. 

He’s sat in the living room watching the new episode of Dr Sexy when Castiel comes through the door after his last class of the day. He looks tired and completely adorable. 

“Hey, man. Got an email today, we’re through to the next stage. You free tomorrow afternoon?” 

Castiel doesn’t reply straight away. Instead he trudges over to the couch and flops down next to Dean. The dude must really be as tired as he looks because he sighs and rests his weary head on Dean’s shoulder. 

Dean resists the urge to rest his head on Castiel’s in return. “You okay there, Cas?” He asks, looking down at Castiel’s head of dark hair. 

“I’ve had a long day. That last final nearly killed me. I swear to god.” Castiel groans. 

As much as Dean loves Castiel, the dude can be a real drama queen when he wants to be. 

“Come on, man, you’ve aced all your finals and you know it. You’re the smartest guy I know.” 

Castiel abruptly lifts his head from Dean’s shoulder and looks his friend in the eyes. “Thank you, Dean,” he says, sincerity shining in his eyes. His eyes seem to flicker down to Dean’s momentarily but Dean is sure it must just have been the lights or something. 

Dean swallows and coughs before he does something stupid. “Anyway, you free tomorrow then?” 

Castiel clears his throat too and shifts away from Dean’s personal space a little. “Yes, I am free all day. I was just planning to sleep now that finals are over. But it’ll be nice to see what happens with Charlie’s research project.” 

Dean nods. “Awesome, I’ll text Charlie and tell her we’re free.” 

Text sent, Dean returns his attention to Dr Sexy, who is making out with yet another intern on screen. What Dean wouldn’t give to be one of those interns. 

He almost forgets that Castiel hasn’t actually left the living room until he feels a soft weight fall onto his shoulder again. He looks to see that Castiel has fallen asleep on the couch next to him. Now Castiel’s head has slipped down and rested itself against Dean’s arm. 

Any normal roommate would wake Castiel up and tell him to go to his room and get some sleep. But Dean just can’t bring himself to disturb Castiel’s peaceful slumber. Finals must have really knocked it out of him. 

And if Dean gets a little joy out of having Castiel this close to him, well that’s no one else’s business but his own. 

* * * 

“Okay I just need you guys to sign a few documents before we get started.” Charlie explains. “I know you’ve seen most of these before with the other studies but there’s a couple new ones in there so make sure you look at them carefully. Dean.” She raises an eyebrow at him. 

Dean looks up from where he’d been scanning the papers Charlie handed them when they walked into the classroom. His face is a picture of perfect innocence and offence of being accused of such things. 

“Don’t pull that face, Dean. Charlie is right, you can be rather lackadaisical with important documentation.” Castiel says, his eyes never leaving the papers he’s reading. 

Trust Castiel to know exactly how Dean would react without even looking at him. And  _ lackadaisical? _ Who even says that? God, Castiel is such a fucking dork. 

Papers thoroughly read and signed, Charlie takes Dean and Castiel into a smaller room with two stools next to each other in the middle. A pretty simple set up compared to some of the things they’ve been part of. 

“Take a seat. It doesn’t matter which seat you take, just make sure you’re both facing me.” Charlie instructs. 

Both boys do as asked. 

“Okay, from now on neither of you can talk to the other. You can only talk to me. Understand?” 

Dean and Castiel give identical nods. 

“Good. This is the first stage. There is another one after and we will give you more information about that once this one is finished.” Charlie continues. “Much like your video submission, for this round you will be answering questions based on living together.” 

Dean tries to concentrate on what Charlie is saying but the stools really are close together and Castiel’s knee is knocking against his own. The small spot of warmth from the other man both relaxes and makes Dean anxious at the same time. But Dean daren’t move his leg away. Castiel would wonder why he’d moved away and probably get a little pouty frown on his face. The same as he did the night before when Dean had finally got up from the couch because he needed the bathroom. 

“And remember, the main rule of these questions is: what happens in this room stays in the room. Got it?”

Dean swallows and nods. He’d missed a bit of what Charlie had said but he’d probably figure it out. 

“Awesome. Let’s begin.” Charlie smiles. “First question: what do you like most about living together?” 

Dean knows what he’d like to answer but he’ll never confess. Instead, he goes for a more playful answer. “I like that Castiel gets free donuts from his job at the coffee shop.” 

From the corner of his eye he can see Castiel roll his eyes. “I like that Dean has a brother that I can have much more intellectually stimulating conversations with,” Castiel replies with a smug face. 

Dean would argue but he’s not allowed to speak directly to Castiel. (And to be honest, his brother may only be eighteen but he is freakishly clever.)

Charlie smirks and shakes her head as she writes down their answers. 

“Next: What do you hate most about living together?” 

This time Castiel gets his answer in first. “I hate that Dean leaves dirty socks around the apartment.” 

Now Dean rolls his eyes. Castiel is always nagging Dean about his socks. They didn’t need to come all the way down here for Castiel to get that off his chest. 

“I hate that you always put the empty milk carton back in the fridge. It’s gross dude.” 

Castiel levels Dean with a look that says ‘you do that too and you know it’. 

Dean just shrugs. 

After another few questions, the first round is over and Charlie allows them to have a break. Only they’re still not allowed to talk to each other so they go into the first room and sit at either ends. 

Dean is tempted to text Castiel from across the room but he knows Charlie would be hugely pissed if she found out he broke the rules. 

Soon enough, they’re called back into the question room. 

When they enter they’re met with the same two stools but this time there’s a solid white screen between them. 

As they take their seats again, Castiel disappears behind the partition and Dean suddenly realises why it’s probably there. It’s probably an attempt to be more honest with each other because they won’t see the other’s immediate reaction. 

“Okay,” Charlie begins again, “it’s the same rules as before. I’ll ask you some questions again. And remember: what happens in this room, stays in this room.” 

Dean takes a deep breath. He hates being reminded of that. As if Charlie knows he’s not telling the full truth. Which, of course, he isn’t. But they don’t know that. 

“First question: what has been the worst thing about living together?”

Dean internally rolls his eyes, how can he think of another bullshit jokey answer?

His thoughts are stopped by Castiel softly clearing his throat on the other side of the wall. Dean can do nothing but look at Charlie sitting opposite them. She seems to be sending Castiel a kind smile. 

“The worst thing,” Castiel begins, “was that you were hurting so much when your mom died and I couldn’t do anything to help take the pain away.” The end of the sentence comes out in almost a whisper. 

Dean is overwhelmed. He feels like he’s been punched in the gut. He doesn’t often talk about his mother’s death, not even with Castiel. That was one of the lowest moments of his life. But Castiel had been his rock. Cleaning up after him when he was in depressed moods, dragging him out of bars and shoving him in the shower to sober up. God, Dean would have flunked out of college by now if Castiel hadn’t saved him. 

“You did just by being there, man.” Dean whispers, tears coming to his eyes. He takes a small breath and sits in the silence for a few moments. “Dammit, you promise that whatever happens in here, stays in here?” He asks Charlie. 

“Well, from my point of view, yes. I will not discuss the details of your answers outside the parameters of the study, and your names will be anonymised when your data is used in the final report. However, it’s up to you two if it carries on with you outside these four walls. 

Dean takes a shaky breath, letting Charlie’s answer wash over him for a moment. 

“I would never judge you or be angry at you for anything, Dean.” Castiel’s kind voice rumbles through the partition. 

And if that ain’t Castiel summed up perfectly, Dean thinks. Castiel is the most thoughtful and selfless person Dean has ever met. And Dean loves him. 

Dean feels like he might just burst if he doesn’t finally put his feelings into physical words. 

Castiel would forgive Dean of anything. It’s that thought that pushes Dean to take a final, calming deep breath and jump. 

“Fuck it, you wanna know the worst thing about living with Cas?” Dean asks, rhetorically. “It’s that every day I look at him and see everything I could ever want but can never have.” Dean finally confesses. And once the floodgates are open, he finds that he just can’t stop. “It terrifies me that one day he’ll leave for someone better.” 

Dean thinks he can hear a soft noise coming from Castiel’s side but he’s not done. 

“And the thing I really hate the most having Cas as a roommate? It’s that my fucking heart breaks a little more every time he walks through the door because I know one day it’ll be the last.”

Dean can’t bring himself to look at Charlie so he looks down at his hands, nervously playing with them in his lap. 

No sound comes from Castiel’s side and Dean closes his eyes in defeat and sheer regret. He’s ruined everything for sure. He should have known Castiel wouldn’t feel the same. He should have just kept it to himself. 

As if to prove Dean right, he hears footsteps in the quiet room. Footsteps that he’d recognise anywhere. 

Great, Castiel has left which means Charlie’s research is probably ruined too. 

Fuck, shit. Can’t Dean get anything fucking right?

Only, when he listens more carefully, he notices the footsteps aren’t retreating. In fact, they sound like they’re coming closer and closer to Dean. 

Dean finally opens his eyes and lifts his head to see Castiel standing in front of him. The overhead light is positioned perfectly behind his head and creates a ring of pure light around him. 

Castiel silently lifts a hand to Dean’s chin, cupping it ever so slightly. Dean can’t help but fall for Castiel all over again, just looking into his eyes. 

“I know Charlie didn’t ask it yet but would you like to know what I  _ love _ most about living with you, Dean?”

Dean nods, eyes never leaving Castiel’s. 

“It’s that I fall in love with you more and more every day, and I’m completely helpless to stop it.” 

Dean can’t believe what he’s hearing and assumes this must all be a dream. 

Dream or not, he’s not taking any chances and letting Castiel slip away. 

Dean pushes himself up from his seat to meet Castiel’s lips and bring him into a kiss. 

This definitely isn’t a dream, Dean thinks, he’s never felt something so intense in his life. 

They finally part once Charlie awkwardly clears her throat, reminding them that she’s still there. 

They still don’t turn their attention to her though. Instead, Castiel rests his head against Dean’s and whispers between them “This definitely isn’t staying in this room.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Also posted on my [tumblr](https://dickspeightjrs.tumblr.com/). (Follow me?)
> 
> Comment and give a kudos if you liked?
> 
> (I haven't proof read so please forgive any mistakes.)


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